


Memories Rippling Like Puddles in the Rain

by o_WinterQueen_o



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Hurt, Hurt Kurosaki Ichigo, Hurt No Comfort, June 17th: Memories in the Rain, Kurosaki Ichigo Needs a Hug, Kurosaki Ichigo-centric, Memories, My Bean Doesn't Deserve This, Rain, Repressed Memories, Shock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24351163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o_WinterQueen_o/pseuds/o_WinterQueen_o
Summary: Ichigo's memories from that faithful June 17th
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Memories Rippling Like Puddles in the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm cross-posting this from my RP tumblr ^^ It's easier to keep track of my headcanon drabbles by putting them on here. Tbh I hate that I wrote this because poor Ichi-bean doesn't deserve any of this. 
> 
> ALSO: see if u can catch the lil cameo a certain someone makes

Most of what happened that day, Ichigo cannot remember, yet there are some things that he will never forget. What he does remember comes in flashes. Brief, vibrant, violent flashes that cannot be erased. They can go dormant and they usually are, but when he remembers them, he remembers them in perfect technicolor.
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

First, there was rain. The chill of it even in the humid air that made his face sting. Even more than the rain, there was his mom. Her warmth, her smile, her laugh. How she seemed to dim the misery of the world with the strength of her own light. Then girl---just the flicker of her form in the corner of his eye that captured his whole attention---the rush of panic---the desperate need to help her----
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

He was running. 

He could recall perfectly the feeling of the soft earth giving way beneath his sneakers and the squelching sound of his footsteps. 

A dull scream of his name that seemed to be far away---nearly drowned out by the sound of the downpour---and the distant rapid squelching of what he later realized was his mother running after him,

Then blackness. Complete and utter blackness. 
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

After an eternity... the world began returning. 

First came the cold. A bone-deep sense of cold that he could not escape. A wet cold that seemed to soak into his very being. Distantly, he could feel himself shivering, even beneath this crushing weight on his chest---

The weight. Beneath him was the ground. Wet and soft. Above him was something cold and unyielding that was far too heavy to move. It was hard to breathe beneath it. 

Static. There was static. A dull roar that steadily morphed into the sound of heavy rainfall. What had been a drizzle was now a downpour. It surrounded him like a wall. Filled his head like needles inside his skull. 

It was then he became aware of the rest of him. His skull ached where it met the ground---as if he’d fallen---but how would he have fallen on his back? It hurt to move his arm---he had yet to open his eyes but it felt as if something had torn open part of his raincoat there---a rock maybe...? But... 

Nothing made sense. He still couldn’t breathe right. He hurt but he was also too cold and numb to hurt. He couldn’t move...

What...? What was...? 

Then, somehow, his eyes peeled open. First, it was simply hazy grey as he started into the cloud-darkened sky. Then came focus as he flicked his eyes down to earth. The image of his mom on top of him and unmoving burned itself into his brain. 

This couldn’t be real. 

He was trying to get his lips to move, his voice to work, but he couldn’t. There was no voice in him---

Somehow, he managed to make his arms to reach up, to shake her---yet there was no response. This couldn’t be real--- His attention shifted to his hands, covered in red. Blood. Her blood. There was blood all around them he realized. 

She was already gone---

His world shattered. 

There was blackness----
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

A loud sharp scream-----who was screaming?---and pain in his throat---

Void----he couldn’t breathe---was he in space? His teacher said there was no air in space----
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

The rain was lighter now but the cold was impossibly deeper---

Was he going to die here too? 

He wanted his mom---but she’s here and she’s gone----

This was his fault.

No.... no... this couldn’t be real.... this was a nightmare... this wasn’t real---

A flash of white... he remembered reaching towards it and then it was gone. Was it even real? 

There was blackness again----and wailing---

Not a person wailing... sirens? What was happening?

The world went impossibly empty for a moment again before returning----
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

The weight---mom---was gone---where was she---

Hands. Lifting, touching, prodding. They were warm---no they were hot----they burned---- He struggled weakly against them for a moment but then they were gone. There was something soft being pressed against him.

Suddenly the blackness was gone. There were flashing lights and people surrounding---it looked like it would be noisy but he couldn’t hear a thing. 

The blackness returned, but it was different. It was warm. 

The cold was still there but it was thawing. He was thawing. There was softness and there were voices, but he couldn’t understand any of it. All he wanted was to sink into the warm blackness, and yet...the warmth was only skin deep. 

Something inside him told him he would not feel truly warm again for a very long time.
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

The next thing he remembered was waking up in a hospital bed under a mountain of blankets. There was a doctor. She was checking his temperature and asking him questions but he had no voice. He could only stare and nod or shake his head. Was he cold? Too hot? Hungry? Thirsty? Could he wiggle his fingers and toes? No. No. No. Yes. Yes. Simple enough in the end.

“Do you remember what happened, Ichigo-chan?”

He could only stare. He remembered everything and nothing. It was too horrifying to be real. Too vivid to be fake.
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

His dad came sometime later---though how much later Ichigo could not tell. It might have been years. It might have been a few minutes. Nothing felt quite real yet...

Before he could make his way fully into the room, the doctor pulled his dad aside and began speaking to him in hushed voices. That was fine. More time for him to figure out if this was real.

When Isshin finally turned to face him, Ichigo suddenly felt painfully aware of how his dad’s voice was impossibly soft and his eyes were red---as if he’d been crying. Ichigo felt bile rise in his throat.

“Hey kiddo... how are you feelin’?”

Ichigo worked his mouth for a few painful moments, lips feeling stiff as plastic. “M...” his mouth was so dry... why was it so dry...? It took him a few moments, but finally, he was able to rasp out a faint “Mom...?”

Isshin’s shoulders slumped and he too could only shake his head.

She was gone.
    
    
    ,// /,///, // ,/,/, // /,//,,//, ///, /,/ ,/,/, // /,,//

Their world as they knew it was over.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please be sure to review!!


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